Testing Anthropology

It's time for our state testing cycle at Randomville High, and since I can't do anything except watch the students (for HOURS), I was able to observe the Testing Student in his natural habitat.

As before, I was able to divide the control group into several subsets, based upon the appearances and actions taken during the observation period.

(I named 'em all after animals, because I was trying to keep myself amused, because it is boring to watch kids do math).

The Ant
The Ant has been laying up his store of knowledge throughout the year. He is methodical in the coloring in of the answer bubbles, and he takes his time in choosing the correct answer. The Ant has figured problems all over his scratch paper, and his pencil point has dulled by the end of the test. I was pleased to observe that the majority of the students were Ants.

The Grasshopper
The Grasshopper realized ten minutes ago that he has to take this test today. He's spent those minutes trying to scam a calculator off every teacher he knows and muttering, "Pi R Squared," over and over under his breath. He has no idea what Pi R Squared is, but he hopes that it will become clear to him within the next few seconds. The Grasshopper has skipped more classes than he's attended, a pattern he will repeat next year, because he is totally failing this test.

The Squirrel
The Squirrel is the overachiever of the group. He woke up today and thought, "Oh boy! Today's the test!" He has seven (7) brand new freshly-sharpened pencils lined up on his desk. His calculator gleams, and so do his teeth because he's got a giant smile on his face. The Squirrel is practically quivering with excitement.

The Chihuahua
The Chihuahua is quivering for an entirely different reason: fear. He is scared to death that he will fail this test, and that the failing thereof will cause his life to go in the toilet. Like most dogs, The Chihuahua will constantly second-guess himself, and you can see him feverishly erasing answers. His test booklet will be in tatters when he turns it in, because he has been madly flipping through the pages, double-checking and triple-checking and so on. The Chihuahua, in addition to fearing for his own future, is also terrified that he will disappoint his teacher.

The Sloth
The Sloth is easily recognizable: just look for the student who's laid his head on his desk. He's the one you have to wake up because his snoring is disturbing the other students. Obviously, the physical effort required to fill in a bubble (with a thick, dark mark) is so great that he has to take a nap every few seconds.

The Cheetah
The Cheetah is the first one finished with his test. Not because he's a genius, but because he's marked C for every answer and then quit.

This list in no way encompasses every subset represented in the control group, but fortunately there are five more days of tests, and I'm sure I'll have plenty of time for further observations.

1 comment:

Laura said...

I can relate to these classifications. Just...rarely have I seen a cheetah that was not a sloth.


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