I'm Mean Because I'm Dieting

I've been in Phase One of the South Beach Diet for 13 days. That means I haven't eaten a bread product in almost two weeks. The result: I am in the FOULEST MOOD EVER.

Dieting, by itself, makes me mad anyway, because I don't get hungry unless I know I'm not supposed to eat. It's a very weird phenomenon--like how you most want to go shopping when you have LITERALLY no money to spend.

But this no bread thing? Is for the birds, for real. I LOVE bread. I eat it by itself sometimes, with a glass of milk to wash it down (also not allowed on the SBD? Two percent milk, though skim milk is allowed, only WHO WANTS TO DRINK SKIM MILK?)

I have been dreaming of eating bread. Today I dreamt that I ate a tortilla with a piece of toast. Maybe between TWO pieces of toast, like a toasted tortilla sandwich. I am not a big mac 'n cheese girl, but I would cut someone for some of that disgusting junk right now.

The worst part is, I don't even know if I've lost anything. I weighed myself on my parents schizophrenic scale two weeks ago. I weighed myself twice within one hour, and my weight dropped ten pounds during that time. Then I weighed myself today according to the same scale, I have either lost ten pounds or gained fifteen. I tried it again later and found that, in the course of thirty minutes, I gained five more.

All I really want is to be able to wear my godawful purple bridesmaids dress without embarrassing myself, and I can't help but think: I GAVE UP BREAD FOR THIS????