2.28.2007

Edging In

As my niece's due date draws ever closer, I find myself becoming increasingly worried about a very important issue:

WHEN AM I GONNA GET TO SEE THAT BABY??

Because, and I don't know if this is normal or what, my mother and Joon's mother-in-law are so excited about being grandmothers that I KNOW they are gonna be circling the kid like vultures, pouncing on her and stealing her away the very moment Joon lets go. If I don't take drastic measures, I am going to lose out on all that cute baby stuff, and I won't even get a look at her until she is twenty-two years old.

To that end, I had this conversation with Joon last night.

Me: [whispering] Joon, let me be the first one to hold the Beignet.
Joon: [who is slow] Um, I think I will be the first one, thank you.
Me: Kkhhhhuuhhhh. I meant AFTER you.
Joon: [who is even slower] I think Mister Joon is going to be next.
Me: [rolling eyes] I KNOW. I mean AFTER that.
Joon: [who is like a freaking turtle] Well the nurse has to have her to clean her up.
Me: [giving up on being subtle] JOON!!! I MEAN LET ME HOLD THE KID BEFORE THE GRANDMOTHERS GET TO HER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

(Joon's pregnancy brain does her no favors, for reals.)

BUT! I do have her tacit approval to be the first second thi FIRST FAMILY MEMBER to get my hands on the kid. Ha HA! Suck it, grandmas!*


*Obviously, I don't mean "suck it," Mother. I am well aware that you carried me for nine months and were in labor for sixty-one hours or something, trying to bring me into this world, and I should respect your age and your wisdom and honor my parents, or whatever, and ordinarily I would, but these are special circumstances, you have to admit, so I feel compelled to remind you of one small but important detail: I'M STILL FIRST.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Mei,
Don't look too closely at the nurse helping with the delivery. I've been saving my allowance to use as a bribe...

Love, Mom

Cindy said...

Mei, I feel your pain...except that I'm a brand-new first-time grandma who hasn't gotten to see my precious grandson yet! I'm flying down next week to see him...and pity the fool who tries to pry him out of my hands!

Mei said...

Mom,
I will, for real, knock that nurse over on my way to the baby. No prisoners.

Cindy,
They will have to keep an eye on you to make sure you don't smuggle him home in your suitcase!

Gavin said...

Absolutely Hilarious !
You should be writing novels.

Mei said...

Thanks, Gavin! What a nice compliment!

 

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