And This Is Why I Keep Watching

So apparently American Idol is supposed to have some big surprise tomorrow night? I hope it's that they're canning three-fourths of the contestants and that the next few months will be filled with hour-long shows where Blake, Chris S, LaKisha, and Melinda sing my favorite songs. Then maybe I wouldn't hate myself so much for two hours every week.

Tonight's show was pretty good, right? Per usual, the girls outsang the boys by about a million times (and yet the boys continue to muddle along in their mediocrity. Slow learners, I think. But if it means Sundance gets kicked off next week I AM FOR IT).

These are my impressions of tonight's performances:

Jordin - She's got a LOT of personality, but fortunately she has talent to match. She was very energetic tonight, and I think 80s rock suits her. I was iffy at first, because I don't quite trust teenagers who are that self-composed; usually they wind up being mass murderers. My favorite thing about her is that she towers over peewee Ryan Seacrest, and even makes fun of his teeny tiny height a little. For that alone I love her.

Sabrina - Frankly, I never remember she's there. I don't even remember her song from tonight. Wait, it was that EnVogue one. I didn't like it. I think she's a good singer, but compared with some of the others, she just doesn't measure up. If she'd been in the competition last year, I probably would have liked her more. Or at least remembered her name.

Antonella - My feelings cannot be summed up in a short, pithy paragraph. So here is my problem with Antonella.

Remember, in Season 2, when the fabulous Frenchie Davis outsang everybody and was almost certainly going to become the American Idol? And then somebody found out she posed for some dirty pictures or something so then they kicked her off? WHY HAVE THEY NOT DONE THE SAME FOR ANTONELLA????

I will tell you why: Unfortunately, success is show business is predicated on some old white man's fascist ideas of beauty, and there are very specific qualities he looks for. Talent is not one of these qualities. (This explains why Cameron Diaz has a career.) Because Antonella meets the old white man's main requirements (young, skinny, white), she gets to stay on the show, regardless of the fact that she cannot sing. Because Frenchie is a larger-than-life black woman, she got the boot.

I hate double standards, and that is why I am so mad that Antonella has not been summarily dismissed from the show. Also, she is snotty to the judges, thinks more of herself than is deserved, and is a big ol' ho.

Haley - Who?

Stephanie - I don't like her song choices AT ALL. I think she about broke her vocal chords on her song tonight. I don't get anything from her, either; she seems very mechanical to me, like she is concentrating on her technique instead of her emotion. I'm not saying that technique is not important, because it is, but hers has not been great. If she'd given any indication that she was really INTO the song, or the emotions it's supposed to evoke, that would have overcome the technical problems. Geez, I'm talking like she's a robot. Well, maybe she is.

LaKisha - Obviously, I love her. She is always 100% invested in her songs, and that helps, even when she sings from the Whitney Houston Songbook, which should be banned from the show (along with Stevie Wonder, Mariah Carey and Celine Dion). I think she needs to hold off on the Ryan Seacrest-hugging, though, because that is gross. Also, her mom and auntie are cute, and they definitely SHOULD have their own show.

Gina - I like her because she's different. It's why I liked Bo Bice and Chris Daughtry. She needs to be careful, though, not to let herself get cast into the "rocker chick" role, because then that is what we will hear all season from the judges ("Yo dawg, I liked your version of Pennies from Heaven, but I was waiting for you to bring your rock vibe to it."). She should be careful, too, with the see-through shirts, because I don't need to be subjected to that.

Melinda - I like her more every week. Since LaKisha already sang And I Am Telling You, she pulled out the other big-voice Broadway song: I'm a Woman, from Smokey Joe's Cafe. I happen to love this song, although I somehow missed that it talks about lard in there. I think if you can sell a song that talks about pulling lard from a bucket, you deserve a record deal. Simon was totally right when he said, "You're a tiger," all surprised-like, "and we thought you were a pussycat." I think she is adjusting to the spotlight faster than Brandon, the other former back-up singer.

And could I talk for a minute about the judges? Simon is nicer, and seems to be enjoying himself more than any other season. He LAUGHS. Paula gives actual constructive advice and doesn't sound like a junkie. Randy ... says "dawg" a lot.

Ryan Seacrest is still the devil, though. Nothing will ever change my mind about that.

1 comment:

Joon said...

Here is what I think. Mr. Joon likes Haley. I don't think she's that great. Gina's red bra was showing the entire time. That was offensive. I do like Jordan's personality and she's a good singer and she IS taller than Ryan. I think I'd be taller than him, though, I were up there standing beside him. Antonella thinks she's all that and she's not. I also agree with you that she should've been canned ever since the internet photos came up. I'm glad she got kicked off. I thought Sabrina should've made it and not Haley. I was surprised by that. I think Stephanie is okay, but not as good as LaKesha and Melinda. I think Melinda is the best out of all the girls. She is not into herself and always seems surprised by what the judges say about her. She's going to go far.


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