5.01.2006

I Get the Sleep Scared Out of Me

When I lived in Nashville, I used to go to St. Louis for Opening Day. I went to playoff games, and I went to Six Flags. I went there tons of times, but I never once managed to take the same route TO St. Louis, and I never ever took the same route home. I have problems with directions, don't ask.

On one of these trips, I of COURSE took a wrong turn and found myself in North Central Tennessee, on the interstate, at 10:30 p.m. Ordinarily, this is not a problem for me; I don't mind driving at night. HOWEVER. I passed a sign that said "Adams NEXT EXIT," and I about flew out of my skin.

I don't know if you know this, but Adams, Tennessee, is the home of the Bell Witch.
And this is very embarrassing, but ... I am really really scared of the Bell Witch. So scared that I can't even google it to find a link to put here, because I don't even want to see any web pages associated with it. That is SCARED, y'all.

As I passed that sign for Adams, I felt a prickle up my neck, my arm hair stood on end, and I found that I was having trouble breathing. I was all, "Feets, don't fail me now!" And I put the pedal to the metal, because I sure enough drove 120 mph down the interstate for about ten miles. Maybe faster; my speedometer only went to 120.

That was, is, and will always be the closest I ever get to Adams, Tennessee. Like, even typing about it now, I'm getting some heebie-jeebies and I'm all looking around to make sure no malevolent spirit-types are fixing to pull my hair or throw stuff at me. I might have a problem.

Anyway, my point is, I was settling in for a nap on Sunday afternoon. As always, I had turned the tv on and set the timer for it to go off in 30 minutes. It was on E!, which is an easy channel to nod off to. Normally.

Then I heard an announcer using his creepy voice: "The people of Adams, Tennessee ..." I wasn't even LOOKING at the tv; my eyes were closed and I was half asleep! But just listening to that commercial (for a movie, An American Haunting, or something) freaked me out so much that my heart started racing and my mind started spinning and I hyperventilated a little bit.

So I missed my Sunday afternoon nap, on account of the Bell Witch. And I will maybe be missing out on an hour or two of sleep tonight, on account of my writing this has caused me to think about the Bell Witch and I am maybe starting to hyperventilate again. I gotta go ...

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