Sometimes, when I'm bored, I do stupid things.

Like, the last weeks of school, when I was done with my grades (early!) and mostly done cleaning my classroom (early!) and forgot my book at home, I decided to do something very scary.

I am going to train for a 5k.

Every year, Randomville has a city-wide block party, and in the morning there is a 5k walk/run. I'm gonna do it.

Now, I am allergic to sporting activities of all kinds, and I am that clumsy girl who always trips when there is nothing to trip over. This is not conducive to running.

When I was in college, I ran one semester. Yup, I almost got to the point where I could run around the indoor track one whole time. That was a big deal. Also, that was ten years ago.

From that time to this, I have torn ligaments in my ankles (legitimate tears, KK, not just sprained ankles ... though I've done that too) and had knee surgery.

Also, I'm carrying more weight now. I won't pretend this running program isn't also my passive-aggressive way of dropping out of the FatAss Club. Actually, that's pretty much the whole deal. I figure, if I set a definite goal, and then broadcast it, I will stand a chance of not sitting on the couch eating ice cream all summer.

So I'm not entering into this without a plan. I'm using the Couch-to-5K Running Plan from Cool Running. And I also got this podcast which keeps track of the time and other handy stuff.

Naturally, whenever you start a new fitness plan, you should start with knitting.

Instead of dropping twenty bucks on one of those fancy armband thingies, I made my own.

I did it while I watched the entire second season of The Office.

I just pull it on like an armband and go.

That's what I did today, my first day of the program. I put it off all day, and then around four o'clock I asked myself if I wanted my butt to look like a shelf, and that was some pretty good motivation. So I took a bottle of water and headed out to the little walking track behind the fire station. In another time (last week), I might have driven the 1/8 mile to the track, but today I walked it. It took less than five minutes. Wow, Last Week Me is soooo lazy.

In my two years of living over here, I have never once seen anyone on this track. Naturally, the day I decide to use it, some guy shows up. Man, I hate working out with other people around; I get so self-conscious. Also, even when I'm by myself, I get irrationally angry. Other people get all happy from the endorphins and stuff, but me? I get seriously ticked off. I always go with the unexpected.

So the running program is broken into intervals, and I was like, "Sixty seconds of running? That's nothing." But really, one minute is a very long time to be running. And by running, I definitely mean hop-walking, because I have no form whatsoever. Try and picture an old lady doing the pee-pee dance and you'll have a fairly accurate image. It's not pretty.

I totally hit my wall (not literally, though that would be just like me, to run into a stationary object) during the first interval. But I give myself credit for not quitting, because I did do the entire thing. I only ran four times though. Baby steps. Also, literally, BABY STEPS.

I fully anticipate waking up in the middle of the night with a pair of raging charley horses. I absolutely plan to say several dirty words and punch my own legs as hard as I can. I'm kinda looking forward to it, actually.

Then, come Wednesday, I'll be back at the track, doing the ugliest running you ever did see. God help me.

1 comment:

Joon said...

I'd pay to see that, Phoebe. Just make sure you swing your arms.



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