By the Numbers: the School Play

Number of plays I am required to put on per year:
Number of plays presented tonight: 2 (one-acts)
Number of plays scrapped after two weeks of rehearsal: 1
Number of plays hastily put together three weeks ago: 1
Number of plays directed by student directors: 1
Number of rehearsals attended by me: 35
Number of rehearsals attended by me even though I was not directing: 29
Number of actors in the "main" play: 6
Number of actors in the "main" play who had memorized all their lines: 4
Number of actors in the opening play: 5
Number of actors playing multiple parts in the opening play: 4
Number of actors playing three or more parts in the opening play: 3
Number of actors in the opening play who memorized all their parts: 5
Number of hours I personally prepared for rehearsals: 41 (AT LEAST)
Number of hours spent buying crap at Lowes: 2.75
Number of 8-ft. 1x4s carried in my Kia at one time: 18
Number of doors also carried in my Kia WITH THE 1x4s: 2
Number of dollars of my own personal money spent: $483.24 (to be reimbursed)
Number of students I bribed to come to the play: all of them
Number of technical directors who swore they were coming to help build sets last Saturday: 1
Number of technical directors who showed up:
Number of ACTORS who helped build sets: 5
Number of hours spent building sets Saturday: 8.5
Number of hours spent building sets yesterday: 2.75
Number of hours spent installing sets today: 4.5
Number of hours spent taking down sets (also today): 1
Number of detention kids I pulled to help move crap today: 4
Number of hours it took to perform two one-act plays: 1
Number of people in attendance at the play: 55
Number of tired-ass teachers going to bed as soon as she finishes this margarita: 1