Oh, (Big) Brother

Yesterday I stopped in at Target and bought some cold medicine. I had to pull a card off the shelf and take it to the pharmacist, who then had to type all of my information into the computer and send it to some government database somewhere, so Big Brother our totally democratic nation can keep tabs on me.

I just wanted some cold medicine.

I was complaining about this later, to my dad. "And the WHOLE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT has to know when I'm sick! My privacy is violated! I am totally suing, like, all of Congress!"

"They just want to make sure you're not using the medicine to cook meth," he said.

"Oh," I replied. "Well, then, someone should tell the government that I DON'T COOK."