What is WRONG with people?

Has everyone just LOST their ever-lovin' minds?

Item 1:
Just so you know, I am TERRIFIED about the number of school shootings that have occurred in the last few weeks. Like, I don't even want to go to school, because someone might shoot me.

So today I heard on the news that a student at an area school (NOT a Random County school, THANK GOODNESS) brought at gun to school and gave it to another student who CARRIED IT AROUND ALL DAY. I about freaked out, sitting alone in my living room.

There was an interview with a man who is a parent of some other kid at that school, and he said that guns in the home are pretty common in this area (true) and he was "more disappointed than surprised."

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THAT IS NOT AN EXCUSE.

Evidently a whole bunch of students knew about the gun, and one went home and told a parent, who THEN told the school's administration. That is some deep b.s. right there. Look, I hope that nobody ever brings a gun to my school, but I double-hope that, if somebody does so, some student will take it upon himself to bring that to somebody's attention during the school day.

And the reporter went on to say that the two students were arrested and there was talk of having them expelled from school. Oh, excuse me? Just TALK? Because I want their asses canned, and I don't even teach at their school. We have a zero-tolerance policy at RHS, and I am GLAD OF IT. If some kid is going to endanger not only the lives of his fellow students, but also MY VERY OWN PERSONAL LIFE, there is nothing to say he won't try it again, and maybe next time there would be some flying bullets. I am NOT having that.

Item 2:

On the subject of weapons in schools, a first grader in another area brought a gun to school. He put it in his backpack and let his classmates peek at it. He was caught when he asked his teacher ("innocently," the reporter claimed) if she wanted to take a look too.

Now, this is going to make me sound mean, but I don't care: EXPEL THAT KID. I do not care that he is six years old, and I don't care that he may not have had any malicious intent, and I don't care that he basically ratted himself out.

RULES ARE MADE FOR A REASON, and the rule that says Don't Bring A Gun To School is one that should be observed NO MATTER WHAT.

The reporter ended the segment by saying the child will not be charged with a criminal offense, but an adult might be.

Item 3:

Still more on the subject of homicidal maniacs students --

A student at a school in a nearby state brought a MOLOTOV COCKTAIL to school. He'd filled a water bottle with gasoline and stuck a paper towel in it to use as a wick. His teacher smelled the gas and alerted an administrator, so a potentially hazardous situation was avoided.

But MY GOD. WHAT is going on with these kids that they think killing other people will solve their problems?

Item 4:

This concerns my school.

The kid in my second period class who is the biggest pain in the butt the world has ever seen--look for his mugshot in your post office in five years, is what I'm saying--has not been to class for the last three weeks.

On the one hand: YAY! Because that class has been so much easier to deal with since he is not there with his contagious toxicity and his mouthiness and his laziness and his superiority complex and his ability to press every single one of my buttons without even opening his mouth.

On the other hand: YIKES! Because he's been suspended on account of one of his friends brought a knife to school and my student is the one who pulled it on somebody on the bus.

Well, you know my feelings: EXPEL THAT KID. Not just because it would make my life sooo much better, but because a knife is a WEAPON, and a schoolbus is technically school property, and that is clearly a violation of our zero-tolerance policy.

---
If I were a parent--and obviously I'm not, otherwise I wouldn't have access to such completely selfish and entirely unresearched and nonsympathetic, yet super-awesome advice--I believe I would have strict rules for my kids.

Rule 1 -- No television. I am a television junkie, and I love my Tivo like most people love their parents, but I would never, no never, allow my children to watch it.

Rule 2 -- No computer. Again, do what I say, not what I do. But kids spend too much time online, talking to possibly pedophiliac strangers and learning how to make explosive devices from common household objects.

Rule 3 -- No video games. Of any kind.

I believe these things have desensitized kids to the point that they truly believe violence is a viable option as a problem-solving process. On a screen, death isn't a real thing; it's just pretend. And for whatever reason, they think that that is going to translate to real life too.

Rule 4 -- Read a book. Any book will do.

Rule 5 -- You have to eat dinner with me. And I'm gonna ask you questions about your day, and I'm gonna want an answer that is more than, "Nothin'," and "I dunno." We are going to know more about each other than social security numbers, birthdays, and report card grades. We are going to have actual conversations, and we are going to have Family Fun Night, and if people call us "The Brady Bunch" and act like all our family crises are solved in 22 minutes, SO BE IT.

(That is just an excerpt from Mei Flower's Guide to Parenting, coming soon to a bookstore near you.)

I cannot adequately express my outrage and frustration over the extreme lack of good sense displayed by these people, so I'm gonna have to go with the One-Eyed Eyeroll.