I'd Do This if I Were Tenured

School starts in two weeks (I KNOW!), and I have been thinking of some changes I'm going to make.

One I considered was my list of Classroom Rules. Two years ago, I read that book The Essential 55, which lays out 55 rules your kids should abide by. Well, I have to tell you, that probably worked for ONE PERSON in the entire world: the author of that book. There is no way my kids are going to go for 55 rules, no WAY.

Obviously, my first step in revising my Classroom Rules was to buy a new poster. I went to the local Teacher Store and got a blank poster with a green gingham border. I bought it because it was cute.

And now that blank poster is still in the bag in my living room. I brought it in the door and dropped it and that is the last time I've had any contact with my cute-poster-that-is-destined-to-be-my-Classroom-Rules.

It's not the poster's fault; it's mine. It's my fault because I cannot for the life of me figure out how to write a list of rules that conveys every single thing I want to say to my kids. Like, I don't think I should have to make a rule that says, "Don't tell me gossip about other teachers." I think that should go without saying. I also don't think I should have to write a rule that says, "Bring your materials to class every day." And yet, I have had students who apparently did not find it necessary to bring a writing utensil OF ANY KIND to a HIGH SCHOOL class in which THERE IS A LOT OF WRITING. I don't like to call kids stupid, but ... come ON.

What it boils down to is this, what I really want to write on that dumb poster:

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Look.
We are going to be together for
184 days this year.
They can be good days,
or they can be bad days.
I'm telling you right now that I
always come to school expecting
a good day.
Do you know what
makes it into a bad day?
YOU.
But you know what?
YOU
also have the power to meet my
expectation of a good day.
All you have to do is
BE GOOD.
You know what it means.
And if you're a little slow,
here's a hint:
WHEN I AM ROLLING MY EYES
INTO THE BACK OF MY HEAD,
YOU ARE NOT BEING GOOD.
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Somehow I don't think that would be approved by the administration.

Also, it wouldn't fit on my cute poster.