I'm Looking into Dentures, Maybe

Some people are obsessed with their hair or their skin or their butts; I am obsessed with my teeth.

I am very very OCD about oral hygiene. I brush my teeth for the recommended two minutes, my whitener added a significant amount to my credit card debt, and I check daily to see if my bottom teeth are any more crooked than they were the day before. I've never had braces, but my teeth are straight and white and big, like this:

I smile big, and I smile a lot, so I always ALWAYS check my teeth after I've eaten, because I have a horrible fear of having stuff stuck between my teeth.

Here's why I bring it up. Last night I had the Worst Dream Ever. I dreamt that I got braces, which in itself is not bad (I've always wanted them, actually; I think they're cute) but is maybe unusual for a thirty-year-old. These braces, though, must have been forged by the devil, because they made my teeth fall out. Like, in clumps. In my dream, three or four teeth at a time (braces still attached) would fall into my hand. And I was running around, freaking out, OBVIOUSLY, and losing more and more teeth in the process. Finally the last three came out, and I had NO TEETH. Well, except for this little, like, deformed dwarf of a tooth that was growing out of the side of my gums, which I don't have in real life, and I don't even know how my subconscious came up with that.

Oddly enough, I could still speak normally by making a sort of whistling noise through my gums whenever I wanted to make an S sound, but ... still. I HAD NO TEETH.

Of course I woke up in a cold sweat and ran right to a mirror where I could check out my teeth and confirm that they were still attached to my head. (They were). All day I've been feeling them with my tongue, checking for looseness; sometimes my dreams come true, y'all, and I'm not taking any chances.


Dreamy said...

Maybe you are feeling unsettled about someone or something near you? I have dreams about my teeth falling out when I am really stressed about interpersonal relationships--- and they always freak the daylights out of me. Look for a package soon!

Mei said...

I've heard that before, too. I think it's just a lot of stress in general, and frankly, thinking about losing my teeth does not relieve it any!

Wendy said...

I've heard that dreams about teeth falling out (I've had several lately) are all about an unconscious fear of growing old. I just turned 30 a couple of weeks ago myself, and have had one of those dreams already since.


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