I Suffer: Parent-Teacher Conferences

aka The Gigantic Waste of Time That Keeps Me from My Nap

A rundown of what I did:

1:10 -- I start my planning period and get a LOT of stuff graded and recorded. My student assistant goes home with an upset stomach, but not until he has helped me with a project. I clean my room in an attempt to look organized, should any parents come to my room tonight. My third period class is fixing to lose its eating and drinking privileges because they don't know how to clean up after themselves. Also, because in general, they just make me mad.

2:34 -- I start logging my activities, because I have a mistaken idea that something I do today will be interesting.

2:57 -- I place a winning bid on eBay. I rule!

3:05 -- I enter grades into the computer.

3:10 -- I start grading again.

3:49 -- I'm done.

3:50 -- I check my email.

3:51 -- I didn't get any.

3:52 -- I look at my shoes. Just to have something to do.

3:55 -- TWO MORE HOURS OF THIS! WHY DON'T THEY JUST SHOVE BAMBOO UNDER MY FINGERNAILS??

4:10 -- Announcement: Pizza's here. I'm having steak tonight, so I'll skip it.

4:15 -- I do an impression of a dead person. Nobody notices.

4:30 -- My first (only?) parent arrives. Her son did not turn in an assignment. He goes to the car to get it. Awkward small talk ensues.

4:35 -- Alone again, I look around for something to do.

4:37 -- Back to grading, I guess

4:46 -- I have to pee.

4:50 -- I'm back. Still nothing to do.

4:52 -- Halfheartedly look for shoes on eBay. I'm not even excited about shoes. I HAVE LOST THE WILL TO LIVE.

4:59 -- Think longingly of my yarn and needles. Or my book. Or my Tivo.

5:02 -- Look at the papers I'm supposed to grade. Look away.

5:07 -- Second parent! It's practically a stampede around here!

5:24 -- Back to the computer. Now I'm so bored I can barely make myself blink.

5:27 -- A student comes in and tries to sell me something. I decline.

5:29 -- Caffeine! That's what I need! Not really! But at least I will get out of this room! For four minutes!

5:34 -- Whee! It took five!

5:37 -- The janitor comes in, sweeps the floor, leaves.

5:42 -- The janitor returns with a mop, because one of my precious precious 3rd period babies smuggled in CHILI in a MILK CARTON and DROPPED it on the FLOOR. AND THEN LEFT.

5:48 -- I thank the janitor, because I don't want to clean my own room for the rest of the year.

5:49 -- Yawn.

5:50 -- Bleargh.

5:51 -- Auuuuuuuugh!

5:52 -- GAH!

5:53 -- Come ON.

5:54 -- Phhhhhssssshhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh.

5:55 -- Khhhhhhhhhaaaaaaagghhhhhhh.

5:55 -- ??

5:55 -- ??

5:55 -- ??

5:55 -- TIME IS STANDING STILL.

5:56 -- Oh.

6:00 -- What's on tv?

6:01 -- Nothing.

6:03 -- Bounce head on desk.

6:09 -- I hear keys in the hallway. Someone is sneaking out early!

6:10 -- Announcement on the intercom: Teachers and parents ...

6:10 -- Shoot up out of chair.

6:10 -- Grab purse and bag.

6:10 -- Flip lights, close door, lock it, start walking.

6:11 -- In the car! FREEDOM!!!

And how lucky am I, that I get to do it all again next Tuesday?