Me, the Karate Kid (Two)

Today I put a bookcase together. This had the potential for hours of enjoyment, especially because I can never understand the directions, even though they are accompanied by pictures which are apparently completely clear to even the most illiterate of persons, just not to me.

Since I bought this bookcase myself, it is very cheap. Since it is very cheap, it is not 100% wood; the back of the bookcase is cardboard that looks like wood. Classy, I know.

In the past, the best part of putting together a bookcase has been nailing on the cardboard. My friend Jenn and I used to do this by pretending to be the Karate Kid: we would try to see if we could pound the nail all the way in with just one stroke. It is super-fun, plus it alleviates stress, plus it cracked us up being all zen-like and focused.

One time I hit the nail at the wrong angle and tore a hole in the real wood part of the bookcase. The fact that I hit the nail at all was something of a miracle. Yeah, I am totally a professional.

Tonight, I opened up the box with anticipation. I had my hammer ready. I had stretched my muscles by waxing on and waxing off. I took my Strattera. I could have caught a fly in my hand (which, who would do that? Flies are so ... yucky).

Imagine my great distress at finding that the cardboard fake wood backing had already been stapled onto the wood pieces. Imagine my further distress at finding that I was expected to attach the rest of the backing with THUMBTACKS. No nails, just lame ol' thumbtacks.

Well, I hammered those suckers within an inch of their lives. Out of spite.