In my last post I dogged some person who really, really wanted to help victims of Hurricane Katrina, but who had a massive problem with spelling.
I don't feel even a little bad about that.
In my family, we are OBSESSED with proper spelling. TOTALLY OBSESSED. We have no tolerance for imperfection, we Flowers; it's our way of making ourselves superior to people who have problems. Like you.
We never forget anything, either. Especially errors. My dad made the mistake of once telling us the story of how he lost the third grade spelling bee with the word holiday. Every now and then, he'll yell out, "How do you spell [random word]?" and the response is usually, "What's the matter, 'Holiday?'" That's because we're mean.
I myself lost the fourth grade spelling bee with the word believe, because of that stupid i-before-e rule; I didn't know it. I did come in third in my junior high spelling bee, though, losing out on the word cholesterol, which: come ON! I had heard the word like, twice in my life! I never ate eggs; why would I know how to spell that word?
Also, we Flowers don't know the meaning of the phrase "Let it go."
Anyway, one night after having had waaaay too much fun (most likely bringing up past grievances or throwing others' errors into their faces, because, you know, MEAN) at the Old Homestead (our parents' house, duh), I was driving Joon home. When we came to the stoplight at the end of the road, I looked to the left at the Neighborhood Pharmacy's sign and fell out laughing. I poked Joon and said, "Look!" and she started laughing too. And the cause of this attack of hilarity?
The sign was advertising "PUMKINS." Yup, Joon and I were laughing at the misspelling of the word which was RIGHT THERE, where anyone could see it.
(Also, this road leads up to the local schools, which was an implicit message of what graduation from Random High School can do for you).
We were like, "Ha ha! No P! How dumb!" And other, I'm sure, extremely witty comments about the intelligence of the sign ... uh ... letterer. (?)
So we rolled on out, taking a left turn, still laughing, when I looked in the rear view mirror and saw that we had missed something.
There, behind us, not fifty feet from where we had stopped at the light and made fun of PUMKIN, were three police cars, lights flashing, and a massive car accident.
We had totally missed it.
Leave it to the Flower girls to ignore a potential newsmaking car accident--complete with attention-getting FLASHING LIGHTS, no less--in order to bust on some incorrect spelling.
9.11.2005
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