I've written before about my weight loss. Here's a visual aid:
Left: Italy, June 2009
Right: Nashville, December 2010
I didn't really start concentrating on losing weight until last March. In a little over a year, I've lost 65-70 pounds (it's fluctuating right now; the ice cream I ate for dinner doesn't help).
I started exercising this month. I joined a gym and everything.
... I KNOW.
I'm having a hard time not being a Fat Girl. Like, I can look in a mirror and not recognize my own reflection. Obviously my body looks different, but my face! My face does not look familiar to me.
Sometimes I open my picture folder and stare at the photos, searching for the image I have of myself. Sometimes I find it, and sometimes I don't. It's so WEIRD, acknowledging this shift between perception and reality. And there's a little bit of mourning, too, because I didn't realize that I was changing this much, and I didn't have a chance to adjust because it seemed to come out of nowhere.
I feel like ... I feel like I'm in witness protection, almost. Like the past 7-8 years--the years I got fat and stayed that way--have been erased and I'm starting with nothing. I honestly don't know how to move forward.
So. This was depressing. Here, have a cat.