Popping In

note: It's amazing how much easier it is to sustain a good mood when I don't have to go to work.

You may have noticed that I've been neglecting this space again. Well, I did it for YOU.

I've been in such a bad place lately that anything I wrote turned out to be utterly hateful. I mean, sure, I posted some of that stuff--it's not like I've never been rude before--but I literally could not think of ONE NICE THING to write about; everything I wanted to say was a complaint, or a whine, or the written equivalent of a raised middle finger.

And, you know, my mother raised me just like yours did, that if you couldn't say anything nice, etc. Really, "nice" has been so far off my radar it's like it was in another galaxy, like it was light years away and could only be reached by satellite.

Lest you think I haven't been verbalizing my anger in real life, though, let me just pop that dream bubble right now. I've been VERY vocal, but at the same time, I haven't yet said everything I want to say. The problem is that I know I'm being negative, but I feel powerless to stop it. Then I feel bad about unloading on other people, but again, it keeps happening. And THEN I wonder how and why I got so boring, that I can't talk about any topic other than this ONE THING that's making me so unhappy.

That's one of my resolutions for the new year, to stop focusing on all the bad stuff. It'll be difficult, because the bad stuff is tied to my job, which is 70-85% of myself.

Another of my resolutions is to post more often, and I don't know how I'm going to offer more life stories while maintaining a positive attitude.

Hmm. You should probably prepare yourselves for lots of pictures of cats. Yeah.


Stephers said...

Sounds like we've had the same year. And I have the same resolution. Really, I don't know how my friends have put up with it.

Shannon said...

Or you could talk about how wonderful your sister and niece are. That's an EXCELLENT start to a New Year's Resolution. :D


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