Because of my dad's stated intention to visit every state park in Tennessee, the entire family headed up to Montgomery Bell State Park in Dickson for our three-day weekend. Here is what happened.
-My brother-in-law MJ immediately broke the toilet in the Fartersons' room.
-We went to Applebees for dinner, only to be completely ignored by our waiter. After a display of passive-aggression rarely seen outside the high school classroom (and from which I visibly separated myself by pretending to be asleep), we left and went to Sonic instead.
-MJ and Joon gave us a play-by-play of the last minute of the UofM game.
-I slept in the room with some members of my family (hazard of singledom: no room to yourself). Because one of these people is a snorer, I wore earplugs. In the middle of the night I woke up and thought, "Something's different," before realizing that I had gone spontaneously deaf (no one thinks clearly in the middle of the night). I took out the earplugs and was treated to a concert of the Nasal Orchestra; I was not so appreciative and when I yelled at the Snorer, s/he always responded, "That wasn't me. I was awake. That was [the other one]."
-We went to Cracker Barrel for breakfast, which is how everyone should spend a Sunday morning, I'm not joking.
-We headed over to Nashville, to Opry Mills. I broke off from the group right inside the door, as I have taken a vow never to go shopping with Joon again. I went through the entire mall in twenty minutes, buying a pair of shoes and a complete outfit on the way. Then I spent the rest of the day at Barnes and Noble, where I saw Rasputin, or his ghost, maybe.
-Joon kept us more than an hour over the time we had agreed to meet. I was surprised, but no one else was.
-We went to Demos, because I love that place, for dinner. I had mushroom spaghetti.
-On the way home, a member of our party had an Unfortunate Incident, which I am not allowed to discuss on pain of death. I must state plainly that I was NOT the Unfortunate Party, I was only An Observer. However, I laughed so hard during the Unfortunate Incident that I almost cried, and when I was recounting it to the other members of the party, I could hardly speak because I was laughing so much.
-I had to sleep in the other room with the other part of the family on account of the Unfortunate Incident. Someone in this room was also a snorer, and was also eager to share his/her "gifts." When I yelled at this person, s/he immediately said, "That wasn't me. I was awake. That was [the other one]," just like the first person had said.
I'm sorry to be so cryptic. Someday, this story will be told. However, I will have to wait until the Unfortunate Party is dead, so it may be a while.
-We went to O'Charley's for lunch, where the Beignet made a giant mess on her face, her clothes, the table, and the floor. And I broke the toilet paper dispenser in the bathroom.
Now I'm home, catching up on homework and blog reading. Oh, and sleep, because nobody snores around here.
Well ... that's not true. But it's not me. I was awake. It was the cat.