X Marks the Spot

My family and I went to see National Treasure: Book of Secrets tonight. That is some lower entertainment, designed for the masses. Not that I can be a snob about that, because I liked the first one a lot; there is a lot of history mixed in with the mythology, and I am a nerd like that, as is ... well, everybody in my family.

I've talked about the Flower Luck in the past, but the main thing you need to know is that we use that term ironically, in that our "luck" is actually not good at all and is, in fact, pretty crappy most of the time. Here is an example:

We Flowers enjoy our personal space, but we also like well-reasoned and logical decisions such as, if there are one hundred and twenty-five empty seats in a theater, maybe you don't sit right next to one of the FIVE PEOPLE who are already there.

Although it is not strictly good manners, we in the Flower family like to put our feet up on the seats in front of us. It's just more comfortable. So there we were, the five of us, with our feet happily perched on empty seats, the previews moving along at a steady pace, when: wouldn't you know it? A whole family came in and sat right in front of us. "Son of a bee," I said to Joon, "We almost made it."

There was a cartoon short before the movie. I realize that this was probably a callback to the 50s, when they did that stuff all the time, and I appreciate the nostalgia and all that crap, but those extra minutes wreaked havoc with my Pee Timing, and that is a fact. I spent a very uncomfortable fifteen minutes in the last part of the movie with my legs crossed around each other, and I don't want to give anything away, but water figures HEAVILY in the climax of the film.

There were definitely parts of the movie that reminded me of one of the greatest treasure-seeking movies ever, which is (obviously) The Goonies. And JUST when I was thinking, "Hey, this is just like that part in Goonies," my sister Joon whispers, "Chester Copperpot."

Finally, we went to Target afterwards, and I went to the bathroom there. It was around 9:30 and I was alone in there. Then I heard the door swoosh as another person walked in and--I promise to God--my first thought was, "She's gonna rob me and kill me!" I did not stick around longer than necessary, believe you me, especially when she went in the stall next to mine (AGAIN with the Flower Luck!), and all I could think about was that scene in Scream II when Omar Epps got stabbed in the head in the bathroom. I scooted out of there in a hurry, make no mistake (but I did wash my hands; I am still OCD enough for that).

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