Bust a Gut

Since Joon had a c-section, laughing hurts her. This is a bad thing in general, because we are a laughing family, but it was especially bad tonight, because we were watching American Idol.

Under normal circumstances, AI is not really a comedy. I think it's funny, myself, because there are several people on the show who have successfully deluded themselves into thinking they are AWESOME (and I'm not talking about the contestants, RYAN SEACREST), but most people probably don't think of American Idol as an addiction, like the kind that is a disease, and not the kind where you eat chocolate all the time. I mean a full-blown intervention-worthy it's-ruining-my-life-but-I-can't-stop kind of addiction, where I hate myself every time I shoot up but when given the opportunity for recovery, I push the Twelve Steps out of the way in order to get to the needle. THAT kind of addiction.

Um. I mean. AMERICAN IDOL IS AWESOME WOOO!

Tonight, for the first time in years, the above was actually true. It had nothing to do with the singing, or with the judges, and it certainly had nothing to do with the host. Instead, AI wrapped up the awesome in a cute little package that I like to call the Little Crying Girl.

The first time the cameras cut to the Little Crying Girl,
I said, "Geez, Marcia Brady," and Joon said, "Where's Davy Jones?" and we laughed. ("Don't make me laugh," Joon wheezed, as she pressed a pillow to her belly.)

And then--and this may be my favorite thing that has ever happened on AI, EVER--during Sanjaya's "performance," the Little Crying Girl flat out LOST IT. I was close to tears myself, because of the awkward phrasing and the shouting and the cut-up socks-as-armbands and the affected heterosexuality of the whole situation, but ... DANG. I mean, it was like she was actually meeting Davy Jones at the dance. It's bad of us, I know, but we all just FELL OUT laughing because we lack the emotional depths of the Little Crying Girl and count ourselves superior to those who give way to their feelings and make fun of them to hide our own shortcomings.

I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe, and Joon's mother-in-law laughed so hard she snorted. I looked at Joon, and she was looking up at the sky, simultaneously thanking God that she did not love Sanjaya that much and praying that she would not--literally--bust a gut.

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Now that I'm thinking about it, Sanjaya's hair DOES resemble Davy Jones'. Maybe that's why the Little Crying Girl was so distraught.