I Throw a Fit and Also Tattle

Part 1: Throwing a Fit

Aaargh! Freshmen!

Most of the time I really like teaching the precious babies, but today they just got to me. As I wrote yesterday, the class is self-paced, and everybody knows at the beginning of the quarter what he/she needs to do in order to get a certain grade.

These freshmen classes are about enhancing reading comprehension and building vocabulary; since most kids never read anymore, and since their vocabulary consists of slang and dirty words, they really really need the help. They don't like it, of course, but that is not my problem.

So I was laying out the requirements for the 4th quarter, to wit:

READING
A = 25 stories OR 5 books/10 stories
B = 22 stories OR 3 books/12 stories
C = 19 stories OR 2 books/14 stories
D = 17 stories OR 1 book/15 stories

VOCABULARY
A = 8 units
B = 6 units
C = 4 units
D = 2 units

The goal is to have the kids actually READ A BOOK! All the way through! For once in their lives!
Because my classes meet every other day, the kids have 25 days to do this work. Each class is 90 minutes long, and they can usually finish one story (which is two pages long; TWO PAGES!) and its included activities in 45 minutes. The vocab and its activities usually take the other 45 minutes. So I'm no math genius, but I'm thinking that 25 days is more than enough time to finish all this work, especially given that many of my precious darlings will do enough work to get a C and then quit.

The book thing is new; I talked it over with the administrators and they thought it was a good idea. I made a list of 148 books for the kids to choose from; they are all in our library and they are all books I've either read or know enough about that I will be able to tell if a kid has actually read the book him/herself. And I told them that they have to do their reading IN CLASS, because I have to have actual proof that they are reading and not watching the movie and trying to pass it off as reading, and not getting a summary from a friend and claiming it as their own, etc. So when we got back from the library, I told them they would be storing their books in my room.

And IMMEDIATELY there were protests. "How does she expect us to finish all this work?" That one set me right off, especially because it came from one of the kids who failed last nine weeks because she thought she could sit in her chair and stare into space and pass the class. So I lost it.

Me: I'LL TELL YOU EXACTLY HOW I EXPECT YOU TO FINISH ALL THIS WORK! I EXPECT YOU TO COME IN THIS ROOM, PARK YOUR BUTT IN A CHAIR, TAKE OUT YOUR BOOK AND READ! I EXPECT YOU TO FOCUS ON WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO INSTEAD OF ON YOUR SOCIAL OBLIGATIONS! I EXPECT YOU TO MAKE A GOAL AND WORK TOWARD IT! I EXPECT YOU TO USE YOUR TIME WISELY! I EXPECT YOU TO ACTUALLY WORK FOR A GRADE! AND IF YOU SPENT LESS TIME COMPLAINING AND WHINING AND MOANING ABOUT HOW MUCH WORK THERE IS AND MORE TIME ACTUALLY DOING THE WORK, I EXPECT YOU'LL FINISH IT! ARE THERE ANY QUESTIONS????"

There may have been some nostrils flaring and head wagging and fire breathing occuring simultaneously, as I was so mad that I think I actually passed out for a second. But they shut up. Probably they all went home and wrote about me on their MySpaces, but like I said before, that is not my problem.

Part 2: Tattling

The four of us who are teaching these classes have had millions of hours of training on how to use this new curriculum. Wait--strike that--THREE of the four of us have had training; the other one always has a mysterious sinus infection on the days our training is scheduled. [Note: This person also had a mysterious sinus infection this week for three days. What a coincidence that it was three days after Spring Break!] This other teacher--I'll call him Mr. D (the D stands for Doofus ... er, probably)--hates this curriculum. He would rather teach conspiracy theories and role-playing games, I think, than ACTUAL STUFF THAT WILL BENEFIT THE KIDS. He also has the largest number of freshmen classes; he has six, I have three, and the other two teachers have one each. So of all of us, HE actually needs to be the most concerned with falling into line with this new stuff.

Oh, but he's not.

When I was going through the guidelines today, one of my kids said, "Ms. Flower, how come some classes only have to read two stories?"

My immediate reply, which is pretty standard for all similar questions, was, "That's not MY class." But on the inside, my head was doing an Exorcist spin and I was spewing green devil-vomit. Because: TWO STORIES. That is like, TWO away from NOTHING. And they have NINE WEEKS to finish them.

And I got mad. Like, really, really MAD.

Now, the other two teachers and I are really trying hard to put our new curriculum into play around here. And don't get me wrong; I LOVE the program, and I think it is going to cause a significant change in the way my kids read and comprehend (and perhaps most importantly, according to NCLB, how they score on their tests), but it requires a LOT of work on my part. It would be about a thousand times easier to give a lecture and hand out worksheets, but that is not what I was asked to do. It takes a lot of time to get everything ready for the kids, and I am still--after two months--adding to the program on a daily basis.

I often discuss the program with Mrs. R (who was actually one of MY teachers, a hundred years ago), and we exchange ideas and talk about how our students are handling the work. The other teacher, Mr. R (no relation) came to me the other day all excited about a website that had a bunch of short stories on it. "We could add these to our current stories! The kids would have more choices!" And I got all excited about it too.

So the three of us are doing what we're supposed to do, while the one rogue teacher sets about trying to mess it up for the rest of us, because he knows best, of course. Way to go, Mr. D, you Doofus.

After school I went and talked to Mrs. R, because I wanted to see if she thought I had set my expectations too high. But she's requiring the exact same thing I am! And we both know that our students are capable of doing the work, because we've both had students who actually achieved their goals last nine weeks. Obviously, we both have students who think that just showing up should get them at least a D, but for the most part, the program is really working.

I told her about Mr. D's "requirements," and she about fell out of her chair. Because: TWO STORIES!! She reminded me that the whole reason we got our new curriculum (which, by the way--I don't know if I've mentioned this before--cost our school system about $30,000) was so that all the freshmen classes would be doing the same thing. Prior to this, each teacher was having to make up his/her own curriculum (though Mrs. R and I both worked out of the same books) and the kids were learning a whole bunch of different stuff, and there was no alignment whatsoever. And we talked about whether one of us should talk to an administrator about it, because it's a pretty big violation, of expectations, certainly, if not the actual rules.

"I think you should do it," she said. Oh, I'd pretty much decided I was going to do it anyway.

So I did. I went in and I tattled on Mr. D.

One of the assistant principals goes to my church, so I talk to her a lot. She's the one I went to today. (She's also the one who is sort of our touchpoint for the new curriculum, so that certainly helped).

First, I explained my expectations for my kids, and I also explained why I thought they were capable of reaching those goals. Then, I told her that I'd talked to Mrs. R because I wanted to make sure I wasn't expecting too much. I told her that one of my kids had asked me why they had to do so much work, when some classes had to do so little. And I told her that I thought that defeated the purpose of introducing a new curriculum in the first place.

When I said, " ... two stories," her eyes got all wide and her mouth set into a line. (Because: TWO STORIES!!!)

"Who's only requiring two?" she asked.

"Uh ..." I said, breaking eye contact.

"Oh you might as well tell me; I'm going to ask all of you anyway," she said.

"I sort of don't want to tattle," I said.

"Go ahead," she prompted.

"It's Mr. D," I whispered.

Well, she got a look in her eye, like, "I knew it!"

"I think we need a meeting," she said, "and I don't think you're a tattletale."

So next week, we freshmen teachers will be meeting about how we all need to be doing the same thing, about how we have a whole new program designed to accomplish that for us, and about how we don't need any renegade teachers doing their own thing while the rest of us are trying to put a plan into action.

And you know what? I feel kind of good about being a tattletale.