I Face My Addiction and It's Not Pretty

I never was a Danny Zuko girl; I was always in love with Kenickie. Jeff Conaway had me drooling six ways to Sundays, and I wanted to be Rizzo just so I could make out with him in his Hunk of Junk in the No Parking Zone.

Well.

Have you seen Jeff Conaway lately? He's no Kenickie, that's for sure. I'll grant you that Grease was filmed almost 20 years ago, but ... still.

I wouldn't ordinarily watch Celebrity Fit Club on VH1, but I was watching I Love the 80s (probably) and saw a commercial; when I found out Jeff Conaway was involved, I knew I had to watch. I was sure he'd be the best contestant ever, and he'd be super-focused on getting back into his Greased Lightning form.

Nope.

On yesterday's episode, Conaway showed up to the challenge stoned out of his mind, yet he claimed it was because he took two Benadryl. People, doctors prescribe Benadryl to children; I have taken it many, many times myself, yet I have still retained my small motor skills and ability to stay awake even if I've been sitting still for two whole minutes. Not so with Conaway.

It was embarrassing, really, and I was disgusted at the man's behavior. Even more, I was disgusted because the whole event caused the scales to fall from my eyes, and I saw Jeff Conaway for what he really is: a regular guy. Sure, maybe more people know his face than know mine, and maybe billions of people the world over have swooned when watching Grease or Taxi or ... um ... whatever else he's been on, but when it comes down to it, Jeff Conaway has the same capacity for screwing up that anyone else has.

Dang it.

I prefer to maintain the fiction that movie stars really ARE bigger than life, that they're untouchable, that their lives are perfect. (Unless I don't like them, in which case I hope that their real lives stink and their movies bomb. What? Like you don't?) That's why these "celebrity" shows are just horrible for me; did I need to know that Jordan Knight, my favorite New Kid is an incredible tool? Or that Balki from Meepos is a massive perv? Um ... no.

Ultimately, I make the decision whether or not to watch a show, of course. But I'm a huge nostalgia fan (hello? I Love the 80s? It's what sucked me into this whole situation), and naturally I want to see what happened to the people I loved when I was growing up. It's sort of like, I think the people who blame McDonalds for their obesity are stupid, but at the same time I sort of want McDonalds to acknowledge that they do contribute to the problem. If that makes sense.

VH1 enables me, is what I'm saying; it's like they're holding out my drug of choice and saying, "Just watch one episode; nobody has to know; what can it do to you?" And I know it's wrong, but I just HAVE to take one little peek, and before I know it, I'm hooked. VH1 is my crack dealer.

Oh, I'm gonna keep watching the show. I want to see how everything turns out, and I can't wait for the inevitable Very Special Episode, where there's an intervention and Conaway hits rock bottom and Chastity Bono drags him off to rehab. So I HAVE to watch; it's educational.

Eh, there are worse things I could do.