I Have Myself a Merry Little Christmas

You know what? You really enjoy Christmas a lot more if you don't stress over it.

I know that just sounds like common sense, but I bet you'd be surprised by the number of people who don't seem to get it.

I myself am always calm and rational, and I never get stressed out about anything ... hee; I couldn't even type it with a straight face.

Well, this year, I told my parents that they were getting hand-knit scarves for Christmas and they'd better like 'em. And they did; I don't even think they faked it!

Joon and I finished our shopping last Monday, and I really spent the rest of the week being glad that I didn't have to be out in all the craziness of last-minute shopping. Joon demanded that everyone write out a Christmas list so she could buy us stuff we wanted, and she set herself a limit on what she would spend. My dad tried to append his list, but Joon cut him right off: "I'm through with you!" she said, and that made us laugh so hard that we've been saying it to each other ever since.

"You drank the last Diet Coke! I'm through with you!"
"You don't have any popcorn? I'm through with you!"
"You got here late! I'm through with you!"

I was feeling lucky on Friday, so I decided to go to a yarn store. I wanted to get a certain type of yarn that I couldn't find at WalMart or Hobby Lobby, and I was kind of in the mood to give myself a Christmas present. I'd never been to this yarn store, so I got a map off the internet, and dang if it didn't take me straight to the ghetto-est part of The Metropolis. But I wasn't carjacked and nobody offered me any heroin, so I guess everything worked out. However, I did NOT go home the same way, because even though Mapquest is often very accurate and helpful, I myself knew a better way to get home. Me! The Girl Who Is Always Lost!

You see, my dad used to live in this area of The Metropolis, back in the days before it was scary, and he'd always point out his house and his elementary school as we were driving past. "That's where I was the Bully to the Bullies," he'd say.

Except one time, we drove past the school and he pointed out the window too soon. "That's where I was the Bully to the Bullies," he said. "Really?" I replied. "At the Metropolis Mental Health Center?" And we all had a big laugh and even though it's been fifteen years since that happened, that joke never, never gets old.

Anyway, I totally got home safely without ever getting lost, which was something of a Christmas Miracle, if you ask me. Also, even though it was the Day Before Christmas Eve, I went to WalMart. I was feeling very cocky by this time, what with my amazingly low stress level and also my mad navigational skillz, and I decided to test the waters. Result: I was in and out of there in 20 minutes. Another miracle!

I did not even try to get out Saturday, even though I need milk and soda and also Chinese food. I just drank water and ate a Hot Pocket and knit and watched Christmas tv movies.

Yesterday, I went to church and then spent the afternoon wrapping presents and watching A Christmas Story on TBS. I watched it once Saturday night, and then set my tv's sleep timer so I went to sleep by it--that is another 1/4 of it; I watched about an hour of it before church--1/2; I ate lunch at my parents' house and watched another hour--1/2; and then watched it 2 1/2 times after lunch. I am bad at math, so my best guess is that my total Christmas Story viewings for this weekend equals 4 1/4 times. And you might think that that was a waste of time, but you would definitely be wrong.

We opened presents on Christmas Night because Joon and MJ had a Farterson Family Christmas on Saturday night, and also because Christmas fell on a Sunday, so we obviously had to spend the morning in church. We had a big ol' Christmas dinner, and then commenced to the Present Opening.

I'll skip over that, so as not to showcase our greedy consumerism, but suffice it to say that a good time was had by all.

Joon got two games, and I got one, and then we played them and I won and Joon said, "Can you return games if you've already played them?" She is really a sore loser. I don't know where she gets that.

We listened to Christmas carols and watched a Big Church's pageant on television, and we really just had an awesome time being together.

To conclude, here is how I had a stress-free Christmas:
Hand-made some presents
Bought some things online
Went to WalMart at midnight
Sang worship songs while driving, so I could concentrate on something other than stupid people

I hope I can remember that next year.