Dear Fox: We Need to Talk About Prison Break

Okay, Stupid Executives, whose idea was it to put the show on hiatus UNTIL MARCH???!!! Do you know when March is? Yeah, it's FOUR MONTHS FROM NOW.

So what am I supposed to do until then? Watch friggin' American Idol? HA! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA good one.

Let's discuss:

1. I'm still mad about the Abruzzi thing. I was starting to like that mobster, dadgum it. And how come when somebody finds Jesus, he dies? Are you trying to send a message?

2. I do not think C-Note could believably pull off his whole Iraq fraud. Are you kidding me? There's no mention of his trial in the paper? Or on television? What's the postmark on those Iraqi postcards?

3. I like Mike Jones. When I saw his name in the credits, I laughed, because I always think of his teeth. (I have a thing about teeth).

4. Seriously, Michael carries food poisoning around in his arm? Really? REALLY? I buy the tattoo, and even the chemicals in the toothpaste tubes; shoot, I'll even believe that he knew where to drill holes based on a devil drawing. But I've got to draw the line somewhere, boys.

5. Veronica is a moron. How come? Is it possible to have a strong female character on this show? who is not a murderous vice-president? or a conflicted rich girl bleeding heart governor's daughter doctor? Or am I asking too much?

6. Where's LJ?

7. How come Hale left his wife--his PREGNANT wife--alone? How come he didn't shoot Kellerman right away? How come he didn't whip out his gun during any of the five minutes Kellerman was jawing at him? And for crying out loud, HOW COME HE DIDN'T GIVE VERONICA THAT ENVELOPE???

8. The kicker: so you're gonna leave 'em in the maintenance closet for four months? I've gotta speculate until March as to what's going to happen? You are evil, Fox executives: EEEEEEEEEEEEE-VIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLL.

Furthermore, I would like to know: when the governor of Illinois released all of the death row inmates two years ago, was that before Lincoln was arrested? Because I'd think he would've been sent to Gen Pop.

And if it's been less than two years, there is NO WAY he'd be up for execution already. No ACLU lawyer in the worldwould pass up the opportunity for that kind of media coverage.

But then, if you paid attention to ... you know ... FACTS, you wouldn't have a show like Prison Break on your schedule. Sort of like it will be BETWEEN NOW AND MARCH.

Um, please reconsider, thanks.

I'll be back four months and please don't kill Sucre,

Mei Flower Scofield (because if a stripper can marry Michael I can too)


Andy Pohl said...

Well I'm upset I have to wait 3-4 months too. So many TV shows end the season on a crazy cliffhanger. ER, west wing are quite notorious. But that's not as bad because in the summer months it's easier to not watch TV anyway because of all the daylight. Fox is really testing our limits with this though. Everyone wants T-bag beat unconcious so he doesn't escape, Abruzzi to live, Michael and Lincoln safe at home making cookies with Veronica, LJ, and the lawyer guy. As for Kellerman, I'm hoping Quinn finds his way out of the hole and beats him up, just before they both get shipped off to Fox River where they can both go and hold T-Bag's pockets for the rest of their lives. I'm sort of regretting getting into this series this much. I prefer to watch a whole season of 24 like an 18 hour movie over the course of an incredibly lazy yet exciting weekend. Prison Break would be good for that too.

Mei said...

I don't regret getting into the series, but I am mad at Fox for its programming. Did they think no one would notice that the show wouldn't be on for four months? Even in re-runs?

Shoot, I'd watch it on FX, or any other channel, for that matter, if they'd just tell me where and when it will air.


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