Dear Fox: We Need to Talk About Prison Break

Okay, Stupid Executives, whose idea was it to put the show on hiatus UNTIL MARCH???!!! Do you know when March is? Yeah, it's FOUR MONTHS FROM NOW.

So what am I supposed to do until then? Watch friggin' American Idol? HA! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA good one.

Let's discuss:
(spoilers)

1. I'm still mad about the Abruzzi thing. I was starting to like that mobster, dadgum it. And how come when somebody finds Jesus, he dies? Are you trying to send a message?

2. I do not think C-Note could believably pull off his whole Iraq fraud. Are you kidding me? There's no mention of his trial in the paper? Or on television? What's the postmark on those Iraqi postcards?

3. I like Mike Jones. When I saw his name in the credits, I laughed, because I always think of his teeth. (I have a thing about teeth).

4. Seriously, Michael carries food poisoning around in his arm? Really? REALLY? I buy the tattoo, and even the chemicals in the toothpaste tubes; shoot, I'll even believe that he knew where to drill holes based on a devil drawing. But I've got to draw the line somewhere, boys.

5. Veronica is a moron. How come? Is it possible to have a strong female character on this show? who is not a murderous vice-president? or a conflicted rich girl bleeding heart governor's daughter doctor? Or am I asking too much?

6. Where's LJ?

7. How come Hale left his wife--his PREGNANT wife--alone? How come he didn't shoot Kellerman right away? How come he didn't whip out his gun during any of the five minutes Kellerman was jawing at him? And for crying out loud, HOW COME HE DIDN'T GIVE VERONICA THAT ENVELOPE???

8. The kicker: so you're gonna leave 'em in the maintenance closet for four months? I've gotta speculate until March as to what's going to happen? You are evil, Fox executives: EEEEEEEEEEEEE-VIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLL.

Furthermore, I would like to know: when the governor of Illinois released all of the death row inmates two years ago, was that before Lincoln was arrested? Because I'd think he would've been sent to Gen Pop.

And if it's been less than two years, there is NO WAY he'd be up for execution already. No ACLU lawyer in the worldwould pass up the opportunity for that kind of media coverage.

But then, if you paid attention to ... you know ... FACTS, you wouldn't have a show like Prison Break on your schedule. Sort of like it will be BETWEEN NOW AND MARCH.

Um, please reconsider, thanks.

I'll be back four months and please don't kill Sucre,

Mei Flower Scofield (because if a stripper can marry Michael I can too)