Martha, Martha , Martha

Who knew Martha Stewart had a sense of humor? Did you? I didn't ... until I began watching Martha every day.

I don't miss a show, y'all.

Not that I will ever crochet a poncho or arrange flowers or cook a Floating Island Cake, because really, who has the time? But I watch because I LOVE MARTHA.

Actually, I loved her before.

Before the unauthorized biography, before the whole insider trading thing, before the prison vacation, I adored Martha Stewart.

This is a woman who makes gingerbread houses with GOLD-LEAFED ROOFS. Who's gonna eat that? (No one, if you know what's good for you; Martha will be giving you the stinkeye).

This is a woman who made a craft caddy out of an antique armoire.

This is a woman who goes through a forty-eight step process to dye Easter Eggs, with like, wax and stuff.

This is a woman who BRAIDS BREAD.

This is a woman who thinks you should make your own wrapping paper instead of buying at the after-Christmas sale for 25 cents a roll.

I mean, come on. WHEN am I going to have time away from my busy television-watching schedule to fold sheets or carve a pumpkin with Matisse-inspired pictures?

NEVER, that's when, which is why I looooove to watch Martha do it for me. Plus, it doesn't take any time at all from my extreeeemely busy television-watching schedule.